When I was younger I got off on porn mags. Playboy or Oui, the raw straight-up sex was enough for masturbation. Older, I have known real women with depth and warts and sagging breasts; porn often repels me. Belying artificiality -- sex without strings, without personality.

By its nature, pornography is concentrated, extreme sex. Porn mags and porn pages feel weird because they present us sex out of context. Alt.sex.stories is a greater turn-on than alt.sex.pix.buxom. buxom.buzzom because it's folks writing largely for their own sake. They have a story to tell (true or not) that doesn't have to sell or win anyone over. More straight from the hip, more honest, more sexy!

Sex-filtering software like SurfWatch forces erotic content into a ghetto. By segregating sex, folks learn it is to be found on pornographic pages, nowhere else. I am prevented from providing a positive page in example of sexuality, as I speak of sex in a relationship or as I explain how I contracted a sexually transmitted disease.

Concentrated sex is warped; it scares us, takes control of us, exploits us and alienates us. Concentrated sex is what we get when we prevent sexual integration.

Harlequin Romance novels are considered acceptable because the sexy stuff falls between the emotional wrangling. It is not considered brain warping to read about sex in the context of a relationship.

Online porn archives are another story. They are simply sanitized, software versions of our neon-lit urban outposts of sin with damp paper bags out in front and a guy with too-thick glasses behind the counter, with paranoid men furtively indulging their fetishes amid the racks. Like that porn store, pages of porn pictures exemplify the screwed-up sexuality of our culture. If people were permitted open channels of sexual communication, we wouldn't have thousands of horny geeks dialing daily into Playboy for their bizarre, alienating sense of the erotic.

Netstar linked us to NetMate live video conferenced cybersex And of it they sez. This is 21st-century sex. Cybersex. Live video and voice communications with a sexy cyberbabe. Cybersex is safe sex.

Safe sex, alienating sex. I may have to use a condom when I sleep with someone, but I don't want all my lovin' to have that latex sensibility.

Offline, there is not enough frank and healthy sexual dialogue. This potential exists online. The Internet offers an opportunity to shrug off our prudish ways, explore the deviant, share our fantasies and fears from the sanctity of our desks. Giving up our neuroses over bodily functions and basic instincts would do a world of good for our culture.