Weirdest of the Web


Pavement Terror

zoiks! Brilliant, absurd and just plain odd, Pavement Terror became a classic weird the day we stumbled upon it. The site is maintained by Howard Stone, an ex-delivery truck driver who used to hate his dullard job. To liven the hours of delivery drudgery, Stone would backfire his truck as he passed by pedestrians, simply to scare the living bejeezus out of them. A camera fastened to the back of the truck was used to capture shots of the hysterically contorted and frightened victims, all of which have been posted to his site. A great prank or a mean trick? We don't really care--it makes us laugh like heck every time we revisit.

The Nipple Server

nip Nipple Server contributed to the origin of the IU cosmos as one of the original Weird sites. The site holds a special place in our hearts because, well, it's intensely creative and contains nudity--not the sort of gratuitous undress you can find all over the Web, but rather, nakedness with a purpose. Each day, the Webmaster posts a different picture of his left nipple, and the Net public gets to rate it by qualities of color, perkiness, panache and overall appearance. This site generated lots of response from our readers, mostly positive, and to this day, remains current and well-maintained. °Viva el pecho!


meat is funny MeatMation is a perennial favorite around the IU offices--how could you not love a site that combines art with meat? It's been suggested that this revolutionary art form was inspired by pressing deadlines, illegal drugs and complete desperation. However, we like to think of it as the next logical step for Claymation in a cruel and carnivorous world. This weird and disturbing photography display, rendered in molded hamburger, gleefully tells of a cannibalistic family killing spree. Truly, here, the message IS the medium.

Ron's Doughnut of the Week

time to eat the donuts While not as flashy or patently bizarre as its brethren in this "Weirdest of the Web" collection, Ron's Doughnut of the Week has a certain je ne sais quoi that never fails to amuse us. The concept's simple: two intrepid teens taste doughnuts and offer up not only a number rating for each variety, but also succinct and poignant commentary that gets right to the heart of the matter. For instance, about a powdered doughnut, Jon O'Donnell, a Roger Ebert in the making, offered the following insight: "This is way too messy." The site also includes full-color photos of each doughnut, plus action photos of the pair actually tasting the doughnuts (see photo, right)--lest you think the two were firing off their witty repartee without actually tasting the deep-fried rings of goodness.

Guess the Evil Dictator or Television Sit-com Character

Gilligan Interactive weirdness at its best. At this site you pose, as the name implies, as either an evil dictator or sitcom character and challenge the computer to guess who you are in a twist of the classic "Twenty Questions." In a recently-released 2.0 version of the game, there's a provision for stumping the computer-you can add new information about who you were posing as to make it smarter. While not flawless, both versions are surprisingly accurate. Posing as WKRP's Bailey Quarters, version 1.0 guessed that I was Murphy Brown, while 2.0 hit the nail on the head. Both versions had no problem figuring out that I was deposed Haitian dictator Baby Doc Duvalier. A third trial again proved 2.0 superior when it guessed I was Alice's Mel Sharples, instead of 1.0's stab at Mr. French. The computer is well schooled in the classic sitcom characters and dictators, so if you'd like to pose a challenge, avoid Bradys, Russians or stranded castaways. By the way, we finally stumped the computer posing as the Jeffersons' neighbor Mr. Bentley.

My Vending Machine Experiences

vendo Worse than a Stephen King nightmare (see the awful Maximum Overdrive), this horrific true story of "ultimate evil" is unusual, but also strangely familiar. Picture this: a money-thieving vending machine with twirling dispensers that fail to dispense candy, or does so without the wrappers intact! Since its inception, the site's keeper has posted four episodes depicting his battle with this "evil," its corporate owners and his office companions (his co-workers are sick of hearing him slamming the vending machine against the office wall). Be sure to follow the terrible tale as it unfolds in the months to come. The oddest thing about this site is that we identify wholeheartedly with the keeper's paranoia.

The Phallic Symbol Page

big, long things In an office of editors weaned on too much symbolic literature, a collection of phallic symbols is a slam dunk for popularity. No pictures of naughty bits here, but a wink and a nod accompany these photos of missiles, roots and enormous vegetables. You may find that the Phallic Symbol Page slightly skews your world view, imbuing any object longer than it is wide with an inordinate amount of social and sexual power.

The Hairy Human Homepage

hairy-man Charles Stuart, 31, claims that "driving a taxi is the oddest job," but obviously he hasn't had the pleasure of running an Internet magazine, where one has to surf for bizarre sites like this one. What is it with this guy and his need to understand his Sasquatchian body hair? Stuart conducts experiments about his unnaturally hirsute body (imagine Captain Caveman, only a little hairier) and asks that users fill out his site's questionnaire to help with the research. He has no hard numbers since we first checked months ago, but he does maintain a number of wacky theories as to why his mane is so darn thick. This site gets stranger and hairier with time.

Lip Balm Anonymous

balms Since we first reported on this site, LBA has blossomed from a clever notion to an extensive warehouse of anti-lip balm propaganda. The weirdest aspect of the site is that even though you know it's a joke, it all sort of makes sense. Don't miss the hilarious "Industry of Addiction" section which features detailed rants against all of the leading brands of lip balm from Chap Stick and Blistex to Vaseline Lip Therapy and Bonne Bell. We always scoffed at the notion that Carmex was actually habit-forming, but after looking over the evidence at Lip Balm Anonymous, we'll all think twice before applying another coat of waxy ointment to our dry and cracked kissers.

The Loser Living Upstairs

The Loser Upstairs This site is a timeless Weird page and an excellent example of a larger phenomenon on the Web: putting your obsession on display for the entire Net community. The Webmaster is preoccupied with his neighbor's day to day activities--so much so that he keeps this public diary detailing each and every move the "loser upstairs" makes. The Poe-like prose here caught our eye. Much akin to the piercing oculus of the old man in "The Tell-Tale Heart," the Webmaster is tormented by his lonely neighbor's incessant pacing and frequent, highly audible bathroom breaks. We continue to wonder, to this day, what allows the Webmaster, notably a now-42-year-old virgin, so much free time to trouble over said loser upstairs.


boy clooney We'd be fools not to list a site that's not only weird, but is interesting enough to waste tons of your time. Faces is a Web game you play by mixing various celebs' hairlines, eyes and lower faces with those of other celebs. The result: a whole new superstar. When we first stumbled upon the site, each editor wasted about 2 hours creating strange combinations. When reconsidering the Weird sites of the year for this issue, we each wasted another 2 hours making more strange combinations. So, with a cumulative 24 hours of "research" invested in this Web site, we felt sort of obligated to choose it as a Weird favorite. Actually, you'll hope for a browser crash here--maybe then you'll stop playing.

Spam Cam

slabs o' spam Going above and beyond the call of duty, the operators of the Spam Cam have, over the past year, pushed the boundaries of weird science to new heights. The idea was to test whether or not Spam (the Hormel meat product, not the Make-Money-Fast cross-postings) is organic, by visually measuring its decomposition rate at room temperature. As a point of reference, the rotting Spam was placed next to a tomato, a cucumber and a cup of Starbucks joe with a teaspoon of Cremora. A new picture of the rotting melange was then posted every day or so. After some time off, the fearless scientists debuted a new fifth experiment as the magazine was going to press, but we're still partial to experiment 4, in which four varieties of Spam (regular, smoky, lite and low sodium) were pitted against one another. You may want to visit this site on an empty stomach.

Airsickness Bag Collection

bag "Sadly neglected, airsickness bags and sickness bags in general don't get the attention they deserve, except in those short, intense moments they are very much needed and appreciated," notes the Webmaster. This page, a paean to the lowly barfbag, is a keeper due to its mix of academic research and dry wit. It's interesting to note the cultural differences in barfbag presentation: British Airways implies that it's a bag for trash, Delta simply says, "For motion discomfort," and a Norwegian airline has a bag which makes only an oblique reference to getting sick--it gently queries, "If?"

Bruce Bookman's Page o' Pants

happy slacks We've long been a fan of this photo of Bruce as a young lad, wearing this pair of "very silly pants." His Web page is a joy to visit, particularly because he has crafted a striped background that matches the fabric of that very pair of pants! You'll find all kinds of pants commentary here, from the poorly planned "nice pants" campaign to a pair of Microsoft undies (moral of the story: Microsoft is everywhere, even in your pants) to Jerry Seinfeld's endorsement of the button fly because that's the "one place...where I do not need sharp, interlocking metal teeth."

Endangered Feces

poop What better way to say "I love you," than with a 200-carat fossilized dinosaur dropping. Yes, the owners of, also the proprietors of Endangered Feces, specialize in the sale of ancient, Cretaceous dinosaur doo that's collected from the American Southwest. "Over 65 million years old and still going strong," boasts Endangered Feces. Indeed, they've been around as long as Internet Underground, and we'd just like to tip our hats and wish them the best...even though they're off their rocker.


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