How long have you been online?

My attorney has advised me not to answer this question

What do you spend most of your time doing online?

Looking for smut, what else?

How do you spend offline time?

Looking for smut, what else?

Do you surf with links underlined?

no

What was the first site that really caught your attention?

The Mentos FAQ

What scares you about the Internet?

That people to wise up to the fact that there are much more enjoyable things to do than stare at a screen looking for smut.

What best prepared you for your work?

Watching countless hours of Brady Bunch reruns.

Are your a dog or cat person? Or perhaps some alternative pet?

Pets are not allowed in my building, but I have three real plants and a plastic one.

"In high school I was...

a huge Night Ranger fan."

Describe your favorite monitor decoration/toy?

A bowling trophy for "High Game" from 1980-81 AJBC Bantmas. I actually won it.

The ultimate online snack is...?

Potted Meat

What applications are usually running on your computer?

Eudora, Netscape, Microsoft Word, Pong

What's your favorite book?

A Prayer for Owen Meany by John Irving

What's your favorite cereal, and when do you indulge?

Golden Grahams (24-7)

What tunes play while you surf?

Whatever is on the radio ever since the CD player I had in the office disappeared.