From: ~*Spark The Heretic 
Subject: Re: Your wonderful magazine

Dear Prize-winning Editorial Staff:

I just got done glancing at your (*cough*) "publication". 

Wonderful photo of your secretary on the front cover, I must say. But
about the site; why the F$%K do you tease a guy with access to only one
section of the whole goddamned mag, then go and post every advert you
ever get!? 

Even gives out a free .jpg or two...just
ask your managing editor. Then again, promise to send Mr. Gordon a used
wool sweater and he'll probably lend you his password to that particular
site. Admitting to be a smut hound isn't exactly the pinnacle on your
resume' there, Al. Call it an assumption, but I guess that's why
Time-Warner didn't return any of your calls

Speaking of which, what's up with this little bit of ego-masturbation
with your name on top? Alex's(snicker!)Page I think it's called...

- Tell the poor git to use his CD ROM player for music. That, or get him
to quit his craven bitching to the public at large when someone with
no-shit actual musical taste decides to come along and end his daily
"Night Ranger" rituals once and for all.  Night Ranger... You know Alex?
I could toss a live cat under the lawnmower and get better harmony. I
can also make such a combo produce the same amount of fertilizer as John
Irving's spew, except that mine would be much fresher. 

Yes, Alex, C D-R O M  P L A Y E R...that thing you keep referring to as
a 'cup-holder'...Gooood boy. 

But on to the quaint little "IMHO" section...

Tommy, Tommy, Tommy... "Saturation Point?" What kind of unimaginative
sub-creature have you become? I know that the so-called "intellectual
elite" like to fake being jaded, but didja have to be THAT obvious?  Oh,
and check out ( before you kick and whine "gasp -
there's bad things on the 'net!" 

Is it too offensive or laden with adverts? Boo-f*@king-hoo; what in hell
did you expect of anarchy anyway? And quit being "impatient" for
improvements!  For chrissake; the Internet Body is only as good as the
sum of it parts, and right now you're playing the 'net foreskin; limp
and utterly useless. Get your lazy ass to work at clearing the spam
already, the rest of us can use a little help out here you know.  

Hey! Why in the hell am I not in the Top Ten yet, anyway? 


                    TJ "Spark" Miller jr.
            Spark's Comprehensive Guide to Flame
               "Indian's speak Hebrew, dickhead."
        Paul Louis in